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As we’ve learned from watching Emily Fields come out of the closet on Pretty Little Liars and embrace her sexuality, there’s nothing more beautiful than being your true self. She’s more carefree and confident than ever before! However, as great as Emily’s experience has been — her friends and family have been nothing short of supportive — she does find herself having to deal with some ignorant comments from time to time.
You see, many people might have good intentions, but tend to utter the wrong things when they find out someone is a lesbian. So to help you figure out what to avoid saying, here is a eighteen-step cheat sheet filled with statements that are erroneous, prejudiced, and blatantly offensive.
1. “You don’t look like a lesbian.”
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You know that not all lesbians are the same, right? Nor do their lives mirror scenes from The L Word? Sorry we do not fit your narrow-minded stereotype of what a woman with an alternate sexuality is supposed to look like.
2. “Sorry, I’m not into girls”
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Oh honey, don’t flatter yourself. Just because someone’s a lesbian doesn’t mean she will be automatically be attracted to you.
3. “Ever thought about doing a threesome?” – hetero couple
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The answer is yes, but a guy is never in the picture and never will be.
4. “You’re a nice person so we’ll pray for you.”
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Um, since when do you dictate what happens to other people’s souls? Please don’t act like you are doing anyone a favor with your “blessings.”
5. “Lesbians are so hot.” – from straight guy
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Stop being a pervert, and making a group that isn’t sexually attracted to you your fetish.
6. “But what about kids?”
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There are many options available for same-sex couples, but what someone chooses isn’t your business to be honest.
7. “Oh, you’re just going through a phase!”
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Don’t assume someone is confused, daring to be different, or simply experiencing. Being a lesbian is a valid sexuality. Thanks.
8. “That’s cool, I love women too! We’re both lesbians!” – straight guy
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Yes, because being a straight man — a person who can get married in any country without facing public outrage nor having to endure ridiculously painful jokes such as this one — is exactly the same thing. Wow, you really hit the nail on on the head with that one.
9. “You haven’t found the right guy yet.”
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Why should someone wait for a mythical perfect guy when they know they love women? Ugh. Please stop forcing your hetero-normative lifestyle on people who are comfortable with who they are.
10. “So, uh, do you hate men?”
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So, uh, do you also hate the gender you happen to not be attracted to? No? Well, why assume a lesbian would then? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
11. “I kissed a woman once!” – straight girl
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Well, aren’t you just “wild” and “accepting.” Let me guess, do you wear cherry chapstick as well? Also, while we’re on this note, please don’t go around calling lesbians your “girl crush.” It might sound cute, sweet, and oh so supportive, but as fashion writer Nicole Mason best puts it, it’s an “insidious way of perpetuating negative stereotype and negative attitudes associated with being gay.”
12. “I have a friend who’s a lesbian, let me hook you two up!”
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If you’re playing matchmaker based on two people’s sexuality and not whether they are actually compatible, then no thank you.
13. “One night with me I can turn ya straight.” – straight guy
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FYI: Being a lesbian isn’t something that needs to be fixed, and sleeping with you definitely wouldn’t change a thing.
14. “You’ve never been with a guy? So how do you know if you’re a lesbian?”
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Did you need to be with someone to rule out the possibility being gay? No, you just knew? Well, the same goes for other people.
15. “LOL! Are you flirting with me?” – straight girl
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Oh hell naw. In case you weren’t aware, lesbians have standards too.
16. “Which one of you is the guy in the relationship?”
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Uh, what part of lesbian do you not understand?
17. “So, how do you do it?”
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By “it” do you mean “have sex”? Sigh. Questions like this is exactly why Google exists. Please learn how to use a search engine before you embarrass yourself and put your friends in an awkward position.
18. “Do you enjoy being gay?”
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Do you enjoy being straight? A good rule of thumb is to treat lesbians the same way you would anyone else — like a person whose privacy you should respect and not harass them with inane inquiries. That is all.
What is the worst thing a person could say to a lesbian? Post it in the comments to help put an end to foolish questions!
*PHOTOS! BEHIND THE SCENES OF PLL*
The post 18 Ridiculous Things People Need To Stop Saying To Lesbians appeared first on Pretty Little Liars.